"Be Gentle"

"Be Gentle".... A phrase you usually hear when it comes to things you need to be careful about, such as glass plates, bowls and cups, heavy things, light things, your words, your thoughts, your voice. The list goes on and on. But what about being gentle with yourself. Has anyone ever told you to be gentle with yourself? Well, if not, let me be the first to tell you just that, because you are more fragile than any glass plate in your mother's cabinet. Your soul, your heart, your mind... you are fragile. 

I think I learned this the hard way. I always thought I was invincible and that there was no way I could break. But, from time to time, I would stand in the shower, numb, because in that split second that I had to myself, I would tear myself apart. I would pull at the fat here and there. I would scratch at my face because frankly, how could it get anymore ugly and scarred? I would brush my hair and just wish it looked and felt different. I would think about how I looked all together and I would wonder if anyone ever found me attractive. I would think about how many times I had messed up and fallen short, and wondered if Christ would still welcome me with open arms. I would beat myself up over a math test and just wish that I could be naturally smart like so many others I knew. I basically felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I never gave myself a chance. It's like I had this other person inside of me yelling at me that I was ugly and stupid and a screw up. And I believed it. I didn't realize that I was breaking myself down more and more each time. I didn't realize that I was fragile. I can't tell you when it happened or even how, but one day I just stopped. My best friend introduced me to this foreign phrase, "Be Gentle". 

One day I decided to start listening to that phrase instead of just reading it on a piece of paper. I chose to set it as a daily reminder that whether I knew it or not, I was doing better than I thought I was. I finally realized that me, little me, was breakable and that I was doing all the breaking. It was me. I wasn't giving myself a chance to be who I was meant to be. I wasn't allowing myself to be happy in my own skin. I was being harsh with my mind and my soul and my heart. 

What does "Be Gentle" mean to me? It means to love yourself even if no one else does. But it also means to believe that whether you know it or not, others do actually love you. "Be Gentle" means that sometimes you have to be strong for you because you have to save yourself sometimes, but it also means that you need to accept help when it comes, because God sent the help specifically for you. It means to love yourself as you are, but it also means to love the person you can become.  How would you treat the most expensive glass plate in the world? You would carry it with two hands. You would walk slowly with thought put into each step. You would maybe cradle it in your arms to keep it right by your body to act as a shield. When you set it down, you would set it down ever so gently so that no scratch or crack formed. You would place it on a shelf that was stable and strong. And most of all, you would admire its beauty and recognize its worth. Well, guess what. You are the most expensive glass plate in the world. So since you are the owner of you, why are you not being more careful with how you handle yourself? You are of worth and of importance, You have unique beauty. You need to stand in stable and strong places. You need to put thought into everything you do. You are more fragile than you think. So, just how I was introduced, let me introduce you to a phrase that could change your life; "Be Gentle". Learn it, love it, live by it.

"Wise Words" from a "Somewhat Wise Girl"

I've recently found out some really interesting things about life. 

1) If you're in college, it absolutely consumes 99.99999% of your daily life, so use your 0.000001% wisely. If you think college is important, it is. If you think college sucks, it does. If you think you'll be done within the next four years, you're lying to yourself and it will most likely take so much longer so I suggest you start now. 

2) Honesty IS THE BEST POLICY. Let's be honest, we all have said a little white lie here and a little white lie there. It happens, it's human nature. See, doesn't it feel great to be HONEST with yourself and admit you have done it? But what I don't completely understand is why people feel the need to lie about the big stuff. Don't those people know that not only is that lie affecting them by shaping their character, but the lie is affecting those around them? Their lies ruin relationships, trust, and how others look at them and sometimes themselves. So lying is stupid and dumb. Don't do it.

3) Food is absolutely essential to life. We all look up to those people who eat healthier than we ever could possibly imagine. Seriously, I have serious respect for those kinds of people. Like, no where in their diet is there chocolate anything, Dr. Pepper anything, Salt and Vinegar chips ANYTHING. Seriously, you people are champs for sticking with it. But me, I am NOT one of those people. Recently my family bought this huge tub of chocolate moose cake from Costco. Why? I don't know. But let me tell you, that stuff was good. And did I have a spoon full everyday? Of course I did. Did I maybe have more than one spoon full everyday? Probably.... But was I the happiest girl alive for a whole week? You better believe it. So my philosophy is, maybe don't stuff yourself with junk food every minute of every day, but hey, eat what you want! Sure you may not be as skinny as you want to be, but at least you'll be chubby and happy am I right? 

4) My religion will always be the most important thing in my life, and if that bothers you, sorry. YES I AM A MORMON! Am I proud of it? HECK YES! Us "Mormons" may have a bad rep now and again, but who doesn't? Sure, I may get some crap for it and made fun of for my religion for the rest of my life, but let me tell you, this gospel has made me who I am today. And not for one second will I second guess it or stop living it. I won't judge how you live your life, so don't judge how I live mine. If anything, being in the religion that I am has taught me to be understanding to everyone else and how they believe, and by darn I am going to try my hardest to do just that! I am far from perfect and I make mistakes daily, but I know that I can always be forgiven. As long as I am trying, I am doing pretty good. 

5) Surrounding yourself with good and uplifting people is probably one of the only ways to get through this life. Does this one really need an explanation? Recent things have happened that made me realize I have NO TIME for people who are here to put me down, make up lies about me and make my life any less than it is and should be. And boy have I crossed a couple of those in my life. It's a good thing I have A TON of other people who are just the opposite. So here are some pictures of just SOME of the people who are the kindest, funniest and most uplifting people I have ever met. THESE PEOPLE ARE MY HUMANS. 

Finals

Finals week. Needless to say it's hell. I have 4 written exams and 3 presentations, and I am about to throw in the towel. I definitely am going to have a bonfire for all my pasts assignments if anyone would like to join me! Let me tell you a little about my finals. I have written exams in Music for Elementary Teachers, Physics 1010, Education 2010 and Photography 2450. I had to give a full music lesson in my music class, I had a final presentation on a court case in education, and finally, my favorite (no really it is my favorite) was my final photography self directed project and presentation. Let me tell you, my photos turned out pretty awesome! I took photographs of friends and then poked holes in them with a needle. I then took a picture of the pictures with the holes in them, taped to a lap. I thought it was pretty creative, and I guess so did my professor. 100% ladies and gents. Lets just hope that I do that well in all my other classes. Here's the final project!

 

 

Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple

I didn't really know what I was missing out on when it came to the Holy Festival of Colors. I mean, who really wants to go to a place where there is no chance of breathing fresh air, sweaty people around and sometimes above you, and you leave covered in smelly, messy chalk that gets ALL OVER the seat of your car.... Well, I DO! I want to go again and again and again. Here's only a slight representation of our colorful day!!! Rad festival, in rad Utah, with rad people.

Blessings

I miss seeing this beautiful temple everyday when I lived in St. George. Every Sunday consisted of church, naps, and a trip to this amazing temple where I would always end up with hundreds of pictures after. I am so grateful that we have these wonderful buildings around us today. It truly is such a blessing to have them so close to us, knowing that others around the world aren't as lucky.

Click

I am currently taking a photography class. My very first assignment was to take 1000 pictures. Seriously, I am not kidding. 1000 pictures. Do you even know how long that takes? Well, to give you a hint it takes approximately 3 days. Here are some of my favorite pictures taken! I have some seriously good looking friends. All of which are single... if anyone wanted to know.